Off To See The Wizard

I'm going to take a short break from blogging again. Just when I was trying to get my MS health in order I was slammed by something new on Thursday. I wasn't feeling well all week, just thought it was overload of trying to get Mitchell's party together and having the party. On Thursday I came home from work early because I just wasn't feeling right and by mid afternoon I was having a tightening feeling in my chest and my left arm went numb. So off to the ER I went. The initial tests were showing I had some damage to my heart but it looked like it was a couple days old. So they admit me to do further testing. Of course I didn't get any sleep that whole night, I was battling with my roommate about the air conditioning. She was always freezing and I was dripping in sweat. I was woken up every six hours for more blood work and every couple hours for blood pressure. I think I got a total of two hours of sleep. I was off to my stress test at 8:00 am. Now how they thought I could walk on the treadmill after getting no sleep what so ever and with my MS, my legs were like jello. I did it though. After four hours of many tests, everything was coming back ok. They couldn't figure out was was going on. Now after eating, I don't know how many aspirins, this all aggravated my gastritis. So now the pain I was having was that irritation. I just couldn't win. I was now put on some additional protonix and sent home with a follow up with my doc this week. I have done nothing but sleep since Friday afternoon when I got home. I am completely exhausted. The final diagnoses they were saying is that what I had was worse than an anxiety attack but less than a heart attack. All I know is I feel like I have been run over by a truck and then he backed up to try again in case he missed the first time. I haven't even had a chance to start my healthier living with my MS. So I will be taking a break to try and get myself into some kind of working order. I will be checking in on all of you to see how every one else is doing. Hope you all are doing well. Talk with you all soon.

Happy 13!

Thirteen years ago at 7:58am this little blessing came into my life. Well he was little at the time anyways. Just fifteen years earlier I was told I may never be able to have children due to medical reasons. Many hours on bended knees brought this amazing child into my life. He is meant to be here and I believe God has a great plan for him. Mitchell has brought such joy to me over these thirteen years. I can't wait to see what the next thirteen are going to be like. I know every parent says it but he is growing up so fast. I remember my little buddy going to the stores with me and sitting in the shopping cart so curious about everything going on around him. Even the grocery store was an adventure. Now he is asking how to shave instead of why is the sky blue or when I have my license in a couple years will I drive your car or dads. It is the greatest thing to be able to experience life through your childs eyes. Even now at thirteen I have such experiences with Mitchell. One of my brothers who Mitchell is very close to came over last night to spend the night since we are having Mitchell's party today. We just sat and talked about things going on in his young teen life. It was just a moment I can't put into words to see my boy talking about grown up boy things with his Uncle. I know it will be a memory Mitchell will carry with him forever. So happy birthday to one of my greatest blessings. You have brought me so much joy and happiness. Ok a bit of frustration too. I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

Here is to your day today Mitchell. May you keep having your dreams come true. Don't change and keep thinking outside your box. I love you.

Doc Appt.

Today was my check up with my neuro to see what we should do next. Some might not like what my doc has to say but I can honestly say I really trust his thoughts and judgements. So this is the plan: he would like me to go back to my old way of dealing with my MS before I got sick about 2 years ago. When I say sick I mean when I ended up in the hospital because my gastritis acted up so bad I felt like I couldn't breath. I love my mother in law dearly but eating her cooking for almost three weeks did me in. My fault totally because who could say no to home made Mexican cooking? If you say yes, you are lying or haven't had real good homemade cookin. Anyways this episode sent me into a spiral of failure and I let myself go and didn't try to hard to stop. Oh, sorry back to the plan. For me what worked best was exercise and healthy eating. By healthy eating I don't mean only once or twice a week at the fast food joint either. I ate REALLY healthy. No processed foods, mostly everything homemade, more natural and organic when I could. I'm sure this will really piss off some MSers but it worked for me and I want to at least try it again. He wants me to clean out my system of these drugs. Even though the Copaxone did work for me in the beginning of my MS, the time when I was off it and the healthier life style, I felt the best. While I am trying this he does want me to look into information on Rebif and Tysabri. Ultimately this is my choice but I feel grateful that I have a doctor who is willing to take a step back and think about what has worked for me in the past and not want to fill me up with drugs. I go back in three months for another check up and then we will talk again about how things are going. I need to get my mind back into the positive mode and push forward. I want everyone to have their own cure for this crappy disease and I am hoping this is what it will take for me.

Small Update

Just wanted to stop in and say hi. I appreciate all the nice comments and emails I have gotten. I was supposed to see my doc last Friday to see what direction to go in but we had a MAJOR wind storm so I couldn't go. Next try is for June 10th. I guess that is good because it gives me some time to figure out some things. I'm not really up to date with any other meds except for Copaxone so this will give me some time for research. I would like any input from my fellow msers to see what questions they think I should ask or any info that I should bring with me when I see my doc. Brain just isn't going in the right direction right now. Not that there is ever a good time for these kinds of things to happen but with the end of the school year next week, Mitchell turning 13 and the anniversary of my moms passing coming up I have alot I am trying to handle. Work is so supportive so I am lucky with that. My family is by my side all the time. I have a dear friend who has been really there for me. One thing in my favor is that the roid food rage hasn't hit me. I actually don't even want to eat most of the time. I can't seem to shake this sadness I have that this even happened. That is the only way to describe it....sadness.