Thankfull Friday

These past few days have been rough with the heat and humidity. MS and these two just don't mix. A couple weeks back when I went to the doc because my MS has been acting up, which isn't normal for me, he sent me to get an MRI of the brain. I have been so fortunate these past 9 years with having MS that I have only dealt with the fatigue, balance and weakness. So when these other symptoms came up I knew something was goin on. I had memory loss, forgetfulness and major balance issues. Within 3 hours of having the test my doc called to say they found 2 new active lesions on my brain and I needed to get to the Er within the hour and start IV steroids. I did that for 3 days then went on the oral version. The side effects were miserable but the result of the meds were great. So back on track but still recovering. Now the big thing is I quit taking my copaxone about 5 years ago because I just couldn't afford it. Plus I changed my whole lifestyle, eating habits, foods I ate, excercise. I did so much better that my doc would tease me at how well I was doing and he felt like I didn't need him anymore. Not to mention that I am Sicilian and he would say with that my MS is to afraid to shows its face. If only that was true for everyone. So now with this lastest episode he wants me to go back on copaxone. I do have insurance but I'm sure alot of people know that doesn't mean alot to many. But I was on the phone this week with the copaxone company and I found out I was eligible for their assistance program. I got a call yesterday to say that I would be receiving the meds for the rest of this year for free. Then I need to reapply. This happen so fast. I got the call yesterday and today by noon the meds were at my door. I'm still in a bit of shock. I'm also a bit nervous to start the meds again. I try to keep a psoitive attitude with this disease but there are times I get so angry. Like lately with our finances being so tight and that is putting it lightly. I really wish I could contribute to the family more with working. But that is not for me. Not to many people want to hire someone that has a disease that is so unpredictable. Also not to many jobs you can do from home. Well God has his plan for me so I keep saying my prayers and keep my faith that he will get us through.

Sermons that change your life

Have you ever been sitting in church and listening to your pastor and swear he was listening in on your life that week because the sermon seemed like it was meant just for you? That seems to happen every Sunday when I listen to our pastor, Steve. There have been many times I have walked out of church crying because his sermons touch me so much. His summer series he is preaching has me totally reevaluating my life. I am very thankful that he was guided to come to Calvary Baptist church. I'm sure many have woken up on Sunday and wish it may be another day because they want more sleep for various reasons. It is not that way at all for me at Calvary. A little more than 2 weeks ago I found out my M.S. (multiple sclerosis) had become active. I immediately had to go to the er to start treatment. The meds knocked me off my feet. My doc said stay home and stay away from large crowds of people because my immune system was so low I didn't need to take the chance and get sick. I woke up on Sunday and argued with my husband because he wanted me to stay home. I knew the only place for me to be that morning was at church. It was an emotional day for many. So many at our church are battling with illness. As bad as I was feeling with the reactions from my medication I never felt such an overwhelming sense of comfort with being at church. I can't find the words that I am trying to describe how I and including many at our church, we have all said it at one time or another, how with Steve's preaching you would think God himself is standing there telling you this is how it is and how you need to be. If you don't feel that way when you are at your own church if you are ever near Woodstock, IL you need to come to Calvary Baptist church and listen to Steve preach. You will walk out of the church feeling much different then when you walked in. Another way to hear Steve is go to the church website. His sermons are online. www.gotocalvary.org

Thoughts to my Son on his Birthday

Son
I love you with all my heart.
No matter what situation life may bring you,
I want you to know I will be there to see you through.
I am very proud to have YOU as my son.
There are and will be more days that you don’t have the right answers,
However, always remember to learn from your mistakes.
You are growing stronger in wisdom with each passing year.
Remember to be kind to others even when you feel they might not deserve it.
Let others see the real you from the inside, the side you let me see the most.
Always be there for your family and friends.
Chose your friends with knowing they have the same goals as you and that they will help you grow to be a good man.
Never let go of the sensitivity and compassion you carry in your heart.
Keep your eyes wide open to all the amazing possibilities in the world.
Have strength and courage when it is needed most.
Know that I have always believed in you.
Don’t ever use CAN’T as an excuse, ALWAYS TRY.
Surround yourself with loving caring people, those who only have your best interest in mind.
Cherish your memories.
Remember a mistake is not a failure unless you let it keep you down.
Always take responsibility for your actions, good and bad.
If you can’t change something, change the way you think about it.
It is ok to show your true feelings. Share them with others.
Know inside what a unique individual you are.
GOD has given you an amazing spirit, let others share it.
Remember our song: You are my Sunshine
Remember our story: I will LOVE you FOREVER.
LOVE MOMMA

Growing Up

I talked with my niece last night. She is having her first baby in January. She is 26 years old and a nursing student. It got me thinking about my mom. My mom passed away 5 years ago this summer. With the way she was with her grandchildren I can imagine how she would have been with a great grandchild. It really gets you thinking of your memories. I loved having her around when I had my son. We experienced so much together. She had never had an ultrasound when us kids were born or get to hear the heart beat. I was lucky enough to share all that with her. We were probbly together 5 days a week the first 3 years of my sons life. It makes you sit back and think about how you need to appreciate the things in your life. How short life can really be. When she passed away all I could think about was if she truly knew how I felt about her. Don't live your life with regrets. Tell people how you feel, don't hold back because you are embarrassed or afraid what their reaction will be. I still get a bit sad when i think about her & how much I miss her. Even at 41 years old I want my mom the most when I am not feeling well. I think my son got the best part of my mom and that is her big heart. But with being a boy he doesn't like showing it to much. I'm praying that will change.

A Good Wednesday

Today I got to spend some time with my son, Mitchell, shopping for clothes. He is hitting another growth spurt. I can't keep up. He thinks it is cute to call me shorty now that he is taller than me. My friend Molly who just got out of the hospital called for some company while her husband got out of the house for a change of scenery. This whole deal with Molly got me thinking. My MS acted up not to long ago. When I was at my lowest my son looked at me and told me to remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle plus I have the MS for a reason. I believe what he has said. Since I have been diagnosed I have helped many people fighting this disease and might have never met them otherwise. As for Molly, I would have been there for her no matter what but I may not have understood so well what she was going through. Not that I wish this disease on anyone but it ws a bit of a relief to have someone know exactly what I go through on a daily basis. We both have kept our sense of humor. I would tease her that I didn't like her so much because she could at least have surgery and be ok. I hope others can find some humor when they are going through a struggle. No it doesn't make it go away but it does help going through it a little easier. Also being aurrounded by good friends and family.

Glory to God

Today my friend came home from the hospital. She had brain surgery on Friday. Now how crazy is that, that she can be back home 3 days later. If there are people out there that don't believe in God then they need to listen to some of the people from our church and hear about how God has worked in their lives these past few weeks. I know it has strengthened my faith.

Newbee

I decided to start my own blog in hopes that I might be able to reach people that deal with situations I do and we can help each other through them. I don't know if I have high expectaions or not. I try not to. I try to live one day at a time. You can't change what tomorrow may bring. I am new at this tuff but learning more from my son. You know you feel old when your child can tell you how the electronics work. But I don't feel old yet. Actually my son helps me feel young. He keeps me going. But he also helps with the grey hairs too. Let's wait and see what today will bring.